When a Mind Monster Shows Up

Last week, we talked about the battle that can happen in our kids’ minds.

Our kids are growing up surrounded by voices telling them who they are, what they should be, how they should look, and where they should fit in.

Sometimes those voices become thoughts:

I’m not good enough.

Nobody likes me.

I’m going to fail.

I’m not as good as them.

Something is wrong with me.

These thoughts can feel very real to a child.

But one of the most important things we can teach our kids is this:

Just because you think something doesn’t mean it’s true.

The Bible tells us:

“We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

2 Corinthians 10:5

We may not be able to stop every thought from entering our minds, but we can learn what to do when it gets there.

That’s where the 4 R’s come in:

Recognize.
Reject.
Replace.
Retrain.

Recognize

The first step is simply noticing the thought.

Sometimes our kids don’t realize how much a thought is affecting the way they feel or behave.

So we can help them slow down and ask:

“What are you thinking right now?”

Maybe they lost a game and think, “I’m terrible at this.”

Maybe a friend didn’t invite them somewhere and they think, “Nobody likes me.”

Maybe they made a mistake and think, “I can’t do anything right.”

We can help them name the thought instead of allowing it to quietly grow.

Recognize the thought.

Reject

Once we recognize a thought, we can ask:

“Is this true?”

Our kids need to know they don’t have to agree with every thought that enters their minds.

A thought can feel true and still not be true.

“I’m a failure.”

“Nobody likes me.”

“I’ll never be able to do this.”

We can reject the thoughts that don’t line up with God’s truth.

We don’t have to believe everything we think.

Replace

We don’t want to simply tell our kids what not to think. We want to teach them what they can think.

So we can ask:

“What does God say instead?”

If the thought is:

“I’m not good enough.”

We can replace it with:

“God created me on purpose.”

If the thought is:

“Nobody likes me.”

We can replace it with:

“I am loved by God.”

If the thought is:

“I’m going to fail.”

We can replace it with:

“I can trust God, even when I don’t know how things will turn out.”

God’s Word gives us something better to believe.

We replace the lie with truth.

Retrain

Changing the way we think takes practice.

Our kids may recognize a thought today and struggle with the same thought tomorrow. That’s okay.

We are learning to retrain our minds.

The more we practice recognizing, rejecting, and replacing unhealthy thoughts with God’s truth, the more familiar that response becomes.

Recognize.
Reject.
Replace.
Retrain.

We aren’t expecting our kids to master this in one conversation. We’re helping them build a new way of responding.

Parents, You Don’t Have to Have All the Answers

When our kids come to us with a big emotion or difficult thought, our instinct can be to fix it.

We want to make it better.

We want to tell them why they shouldn’t feel that way.

We want to give them the answer.

But sometimes the best thing we can do is slow down and help them work through the thought.

Instead of immediately saying, “That’s not true!” try asking:

“What made you think that?”

“What are you believing about yourself right now?”

“Is that thought true?”

“What does God say about you?”

“What could you choose to believe instead?”

These questions create space for our kids to learn how to think—not just what to think.

And that’s something they will carry with them long after they leave our homes.

FAITH Gives Them Something to Practice

The 4 R’s help our kids respond when a negative thought shows up.

FAITH helps them intentionally focus their minds on what is good, true, and hopeful.

F — Focus on the Positive
A — Affirm Yourself
I — Imagine God Doing Something Great
T — Trust God in Everything
H — Hope for the Best

We want our kids to learn that their minds don’t have to be controlled by fear, negativity, comparison, or discouragement.

They can choose what they focus on.

They can speak God’s truth over themselves.

They can trust Him when they don’t understand.

And they can choose hope.

Building a Foundation for Life

Our goal isn’t to raise kids who never struggle with negative thoughts.

Our goal is to raise kids who know what to do when those thoughts come.

Kids who know God’s Word.

Kids who know they are loved.

Kids who know they can bring their thoughts to Jesus.

Kids who know they don’t have to believe every thought they think.

And kids who know how to choose truth.

So this week, when your child shares something difficult, slow down and explore the thought behind the feeling.

Ask:

What thought is behind that feeling?

Is it true?

What does God say instead?

Then walk through the 4 R’s together:

Recognize.
Reject.
Replace.
Retrain.

It may seem like a small conversation, but these conversations can become big building blocks in the life of a child.

We get to help the next generation know the truth, believe the truth, and live from the truth.

Check out our Parent Resource Page for more tools to help your family conquer Mind Monsters together.

And don’t miss our Mind Monsters Bash on October 25 as we celebrate everything our kids are learning and remind them that they don’t have to let their thoughts control them.

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